"Shall I open up another box of wine"

Hi jealous jerks.

Apologies for a delayed update today. Every time I've tried to get on the computer some jerk has been on it, and then those same jerks say, "Steez, have you updated the blog today? WHY NOT!?" Seriously, my life is so tough I can barely handle the pressure.

We took it pretty easy last night here in Rome. We found a market near the apt and bought what seemed like 40 lbs of meats, cheeses and olives, as well as two bottles of wine and three boxes of wine. This wine was supposed to last us a couple days. It did not last us past midnight. We had "dinner" on our terrace, and took Eminem's advice and cracked some bottles. Once we exhausted our supply, we headed into a bar around the corner where they warned us they were closing in 20 minutes. We sat down, had another bottle of wine, and proceeded to scream and yell at each other for 30 minutes about which grocery store was better: Wegmans or H.E.B. This argument frightened the table of Wisconsin moms sitting next to us, so they left, and was so heated we had to just call a truce on it because there was no budging on either side. As the person writing this blog I COULD tell you that there aint no f-ing way that Wegmans is better than H.E.B., but because we called a truce, I won't say that.

This morning we doddled about waking up, until the doorbell rang at 10ish with the arrival of our final traveling partner, Fidelity. She went to bed just now and asked me to say a bunch of nice things about her, but honestly the jury's still out (kidding). She does get a plus one over MBA because she knew the correct answer to the "greatest singer of all time" debate, but then got a minus one for thinking that her Single Ladies dance is comparable to mine. She agreed later that mine was better, so she's back to plus one.

During the day we saw the Colliseum and the Forum. Now, we all know that busting chops and putting people in their places is kind of my thing, but I can't even be ironic or funny about this. If you ever, EVER, come to Rome to see the ancient sites there is one thing you need to take with you: LJ. She took Rick's walking tour and made it look like an art project at a mental ward. In addition to having a ridiculously thorough knowledge of Roman history, she tells it in a totally accessible way. For example: "So then the Romans were like, "F*** you, we don't want to do that, so we'll just conquer you. And they did." I honestly felt like we should applaud her or tip her or something at the end.

Seeing the ancient sites was a great change of pace from what we've seen thus far. You do get to a point where it's like, "how many pictures of this do i really need?" but you also can't stop yourself. Kind of like what I imagine being a heroin addict would be like.

We rested up a bit back at the apartment, and then had a delicious dinner near the Campo di Fiori (a giant square lined by bangin' bars and restaurants). Our restaurant was just off the square and was recommended by both Rick Steves AND a friend whose food tastes go unheralded who would be terrified if his name was typed here. It was a small place, and there is no menu. They give you what they are making that day. It was a five-course affair with bottomless wine for 25 benjis. You can't get five courses at McDonalds for that much. When we finished that we attempted to follow Rick's night walking tour, but the hour got too late and we had to quit at the Pantheon (but not before having a glass of wine in front of it, natch).

SO, the big plan for tomorrow was to see the Pope perform his weekly Wednesday service at the Vatican, but the SOB is in Africa so that's off the table (I'm totally going to hell for that comment unless the Rev, who I know is reading this, takes care of me). We are still headed over there tomorrow, and then to the Borghese and then to see some more junk and eat some more crap. I think the hour is catching up to me, so that's all for now. Ciao.