"Guess it just proves you're hotter than me"

Tuesday I said ciao to Rome, and hello to London. As usual, it wasn't without it's dramatics. It was a hot as balls day. I had planned to take bus to Liza's office for a farewell lunch, but for some reason, all of the shops where you can buy bus tickets were closed - a classic Italian "fuck you" to common sense. Liza suggested just sneaking onto the bus, which she often does, but I'm a good Christian girl (ha!) so I chose to walk. I arrived at the UN looking like I'd gotten out o a swimming pool, and smelling like I'd gotten out of a shit box. At my request, we walked a bit further to have a sit down lunch, which took longer than expected, of course, so we had a rushed goodbye as I raced off to catch my bus to the airport (which I missed). Now envision me twice as sweaty scurrying around Termini to find another bus before giving up and grabbing a cab.

I would like to meet the Ryan who created RyanAir, and I would like to open-hand smack him in the balls. People always talk about how cheap flying within Europe is, and they are right, it is. But t the cost of sanity. As Liza pointed out, they also make it extra relaxing onboard by coming on the PA system every ten seconds to sell you lottery cards, SIM cards, food, newspapers, tickets to attractions, and anything else they can fit on board. We've now learned our lesson twice (maybe even thrice) over that it's always better to take the train. Or a car. Or a seagull.

That said, arrived in London safe and sound (still did not win at the damn scratch off game), and a train and ab ride later I was knocking on LJsquared's door. Vacation phase 4: activate.

LJf (female) had made some Applebee's recipe chicken, and set out a pink cowboy hat and a box if pads to welcome me to LJm's (male) awesome apt in Islington. We drank some wine and caught up, and drank some more wine. Then I had the beat nights sleep of this whole trip, with both AC and a fan blasting. No Mosquitos, no Tuscan Malaria night sweats...just glorious sleep.

LJf had to work in the morning so I was left to my own devices to go through their personal effects, navigate to the Tube and get out into the city. I realized quickly that I should have thought out my London time a bit more carefully, as I wasn't sure that I'd be able to get to see all the things I wanted to.

And that is when I destroyed London. Tube to Buckingham Palace in time to see the first part of the changing of the guard? Yep, totally on purpose. Wandering through park in general direction of London Eye in the distance only to encounter Westminster Abbey and Big Ben? Obviously.  Taking a turn down a street looking for a cafe with free WiFi, finding Trafalagar Square? Piece of cake. Continuing to look for free WiFi up into Picadilly Circus? A blind person could do it. And finally, wandering up Regent Street and finding Nat Geo flagship store so I can expense this whole trip? Damn skippy.

I was quite pleased with myself so celebrated with a cider before meeting LJf for lunch on the roof of a hotel overlooking Trafalagar Square. From there we bounced around to several pubs (Hyde Perk!), made a swing by her nice little flat in Earls Court and then walked through Hyde Park making fun of how stupid people look running, doing voices for various dogs, and dodging rain. Pretty nice little Wednesday.

LJm met up with us for dinner back in his hood at a hibachi grill place. I'm pretty sure our grillmaster had only been on the job for a week, as he seemed so proud of himself for making fire. And then, as LJf said, came the egg wasting portion of dinner, as he went around the table asking every single person to try and flip the egg into the hat. I know this is usually done at hibachi places, but for 20 minutes? Sharing our table was a girl celebrating her birthday with two friends and her parents, and I was directly in line of the video camera. I mouthed very nasty things staring into the camera so I hope they enjoy reliving those moments in the future.

After dinner we popped into a bar and split a last bottle of wine, then went home and watched some YouTube videos, and then off to bed.

And so ends TOD2.0:ROTM. I'm pecking this out on the plane to post from America. The only thing interesting about today (so far) is that the LHR Pret A Manger served flat whites (NZed style!), so I'm kicking myself for not popping into every single one I saw so I could ride around London on an espresso tidal wave. Also, when LJf left this morning the whore scent I'd been smelling for two days went with her. Not a coincidence, I'm sure.

Thanks for followin along again. Will post final pics and wrap up when I'm back in DC. Most importantly, thanks to some of the best friends a girl could have for such an incredible journey. Real world: you suck. That goes for the MTV version too ("Anyone know what's happening on Jersey Shore?").