We started Saturday with a big day planned of strolling and wine tasting, and frolicking…if we could fit it in. We began at the Montalcino Fortezza, where, lucky us, there is an Enoteca and a friendly Hungarian who explained the intricacies of this region’s famed Brunellos. Whilst here (Liza and EOB hate when I say “whilst”, since we don’t know if it’s a real word or not), Liza decided that Saturday would be a good day to start spending my money…"look, this bottle is only 30 euro!?"
In addition to this weekend being the biggest Italian holiday, it also happened to be the start of “the hunt” in Montalcino, so we were warned that many of the vineyards and wineries in the region would be closed. Liza got to use her favorite phrase: “What!? NO!” We set off around town popping into a few stores for free tastings, which actually are rarely free since we (like in NZed) feel guilty about having free tastings without a purchase. Satisfied with that, we set off toward the two biggest wineries in the region, expecting that they would be wise in the ways of businesstime, and be open to all of the freaking tourists that would obviously freaking come to Tuscany on a freaking holiday weekend.
First up was Argiano, which “claims” to be the oldest in the region. We were the only two there, and got an awesome private tour and tasting. The place is owned by a Countess, and we were SHOCKED to learn that it was not Countess D'lesseps of RHONY fame. Apparently no one here has heard of her awesome singles…”ladies and gentlemen, this is the Countess speaking…” Instead this Countess loves wine, has an apartment in Argiano and at another vineyard she owns in Mendoza, and has a wicked ass sense of humor. Several of their wines are named “Lo” after Lo from “The Hills”…just like the Tuscan Hills! (Ha! That would be so awesome if it were true). We asked our guide Claudia if the Countess had an available son, and she said he was too young for us…at age 25. Either she thinks we’re old, or doesn’t realize how desperate we are.
Next up was Banfi: AKA honeymoon central; AKA the Disneyland of Tuscany. We have seen so few Americans on this trip, it was hilarious and jarring that at the tasting station we ran into THREE honeymooning American couples. We talked shit and attempted to eavesdrop on two, and then were caught by the third who asked us where we were from about 10 seconds after I said with disdan, “I WOULD NEVER HONEYMOON IN TUSCANY. GROSS.” The good news is that this girl was a RHONJ, so money could buy her class and elegance was learned. At this point we just started guzzling, not tasting, so no further comment.
The clock had turned to 3 and we’d not eaten lunch, so it seemed perfectly reasonable to move to the next place and have another glass. La Pieve was completely deserted (since we arrived between lunch and dinner) but the owner agreed to pour us a glass and show us around a bit. I thanked him by picking peaches off his tree. That’s what she said. It is.
Then there was frolicking in the vines. I mean, obviously.
After a short siesta at our apartment, we headed to the main farmhouse for dinner, where we’d been invited to join the family for a feast. When we got there we both gave each other side glances about whether this would be awesome or hilarious or terrible. It was somehow a mix in between. Though the dinner included both guests, family and friends of the family, we were the only non-Italian speakers, so I sat and ate whilst (ha!) shoveling 6 courses into my mouth, and Liza communicated on my behalf. It was such an awesome and authentic Italian night, I came home and ogled myself.
Sunday = More Tuscany, Siena and il Palio. Coming soon.
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