Monday we were up (shockingly) bright and early. Liza let me sleep until almost 8 a.m. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully show my gratitude. We suited up for the day, and made the trek 25 km to Bonifacio, the southernmost tip of Corsica. Bonifacio considers itself distinct from the rest of the island, even going so far as to have their own Corsican dialect. So for those of you keeping score it home, Bonifacio has a dialect of a dialect of French.
But unfortunately for Bonifacio, we had no interest in seeing what it had to offer -- at least not by land. We hopped aboard a shuttle boat to take us to Iles Levezzi, a little archipelago of uninhabited islands about 20 minutes away by boat. Lonely Planet description: a snorkelers paradise. Um, SOLD. One of the coolest parts about Bonifacio itself is the way the cliffs cut into the ocean, combined with how perilously the town sits right on the edge of those cliffs. One tectonic plate slip, and goodbye Bonifacio.
It took us about three tries to find a nice quiet spot: first too windy, second too rocky, third...just right. We really didn't do anything except sleep, snork, read (see below), and plan out the movie version of this blog (studios, the bidding is now open). Never wanting to be caught without a picnic (or a wine opener) again, en route to town in the morning we stopped at the most amazing roadside market that sold both fresh produce, Corsican cheeses and hams, and wine. We also brought three liters of water. So everything we needed right? Wrong. Somehow forgot the sunscreen, so ended our day on Lavezzi after only three hours instead of four. WAH.
Going back to Bonifacio was the real adventure of the day. At some point the (I guess) hilarious boat captain said "you may get wet." What he should have said is, "sorry people at the back of the boat, you are sitting in a splash zone and you will definitely be soaked, so hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your iphone." The ride back is an hour because they take you on a little tour of the nearby island Cavallo, where Jack Daniels, Princess Stephanie of Monaco, and the Ferrari family all have houses (no joke). All the while our tour guide made the most hilarious jokes you've ever heard in your life (in French) while we got soaked.
Despite all of this, Liza and I returned to PV in high spirits, and ready for an evening bar crawl and some dinner...but not before finishing off the (somehow dry) picnic supplies that she very thoughtfully set out in the bidet. I have no answers for why.
We got things started with some wine in front of the church in the town center, and then did something you might find surprising: had sushi for dinner. I really just couldn't take another meal of hams and cheeses, and sushi couldnt be that bad since we're on a body of water, right? Wrong...it wasn't good. IT WAS AMAZING. Hit the spot like whoa, especially a foie gras sushi that more places in America need to offer.
We had our first crepes of the trip for dessert (I'm a bit embarassed to admit that), then some beers at a walk up bar, then some shopping, and finally some Cap Corse Matisse (an apertif) at an outdoor dance club. We considered bringing "Roar" to Porto Vecchio, but without our choreographer, and since the DJ seemed to be the only one who was allowed to dance, we retired early. And by early, we mean we snuck in another half hour of Bridesmaids. Just doing our part to prepare some upcoming nuptials.
Bottles of wine finished:
2.5
Books finished:
Inferno (And what a piece of shit that turned out to be. This is why I don't read books...you invest HOURS in a 5 lb stupid book, haul it all around France, and it turns out to be total crap. TV never does that to me. BURN BOOKS, YA'LL)
Celebrity guest Liza just said she'd invite to her wedding:
Pink...really. Me: "Do you want her to perform?" Liza: "No, I want to perform a Pink song at my wedding." Let us not forget her boyfriend is an Italian rock star
Cows:
0
Disgusting dirty dogs:
1
To-go coffees ordered:
2
To-go coffees executed in a manner reflective of the fact that we live in the 21st century:
0
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