Countdown

Can you believe it's been a year since middle earth? Can you believe it's been 2.5 years since the Trip of Destiny? Can you believe I'm still stuck with EOB (formerly known as E-ROC) as a bestie and not Beyonce? That can only mean one thing...time to leave America.

To catch you up on the last year, Liza has moved from NZed to Rome. Yes, we all agree, she's a bitch. The good news is that this time she actually has a job, as opposed to fleeting about spending taxpayer money while "researching." I got an iPhone, and EOB still doesn't have calf muscles. It is extremely unfortunate (and kind of rude) that Liza chose to move to a place that we JUST visited, but EOB and I decided to forgive her for it, and thus are embarking on Trip of Destiny 2.0: Return of the Mack.

TOD2.0:ROTM is actually already underway. EOB arrived in Rome yesterday, and the two of them are sitting in Liza's apartment staring at each other until I arrive. Just kidding...they're also practicing Jenga.

On Aug. 4 we make out great reunion in the grand city of Barcelona. Everyone I've ever met who's been to Barcelona says it is amazeballs, but I'd like to be the judge of that. I mean, how awesome can a place be that is a hotbed for tapas, the most vile of all food groups? Barcelona - you're my Everest.

After three nights in the land of small plates, we'll be heading north to Calella Palafrugell on Costa Brava for three more nights. On the agenda here is talking our way onto a boat, scooter rentals, talking our way onto a boat, fishing, talking our way onto a boat, topless sunbathing, and talking our way onto a boat. For our last day in Spain, the plan is uncertain, but it may involve cava tastings and sleeping in a rental car before catching a 6 am flight to Rome.

Once back in Rome, EOB returns to the US and the REAL fun begins. JK, we'll be sitting and staring at each other, EOB, so you can stop reading right here.

Liza and I will make our way north to Tuscany, where we'll be spending a day or two in a farmhouse on a vineyard. It will probably suck, especially since they also have a hot tub. Then we'll head into Siena for Il Palio, which is sure to be raucous and scary and totally awesome. At some point I'll be saying a sad goodbye to Liza and hitting up Foggy Londontown for a shorter-than-I-had-hoped visit with LJ and LJ, before returning to Grumpytown, USA.

To remind you of the players:


It's all smiles until she dumps you out


The brains and the beauty


She's always with me.